Going beyond pure intimacy, we also understand our project as sex-positive and body-positive. We found the approach of the Radical Faeries helpful, as they have found some good foundations for dealing with nudity and sexuality in their community.
To summarize:
- Sexuality is considered something welcome and may be shared with others.
- Sexual attraction and preference are always for you, rejection never against you.
- Feelings of hurt can arise from rejection and may also be shared.
- Sexuality is exclusively consensual. There is no pressure to participate.
- Be open to nudity, but be as clothed as you want!
- Be mindful and loving with yourself and your boundaries as well as the boundaries and desires of your counterpart.
Theoklymenos found some very good explanations how things work in that “Faerie Space”. He gaves us permission to quote from his book “How to be a faerie?“:
Gatherings are sex-positiv
Sexuality is not seen as shameful, but as a natural sacred gift to be celebrated free and happily among adult Faeries. To express and share bodily love with other Faeries. Faeries make love in private cabins, rooms or tents. Some like it on meadows or in the woods. Depending on whether or not it can be noticed by strangers from outside a gathering.
Some Faeries prefer to have one sex partner. Some like it with more than one. Maybe at the same time. Some Faeries do not have any sex at all in Faerie gatherings for whatever reasons. Maybe sex is not important for them. Or they are in a monogamous relationship and their partner is at home. Or they do not feel attracted to any Faerie in the gathering. Some may fancy other Faeries, but are too shy to make the first move. Others may have issues about sex – except the ones who do not have them at all.
Faeries respect each other in subject-subject consciousness. We do not treat each other as sex-objects – unless a Faerie is clearly playfully into it as an erotic game. Always be mindful and take best care of yourself and others! It may happen that signals are misunderstood or boundaries are crossed unintentionally.
Be aware: Each Faerie is responsible for oneself. Anything goes. as long as it is consensual. Which is clearly a must. A “No” is a “No” – unless it is part; of a sexual game where boundaries and a safe word are defined clearly between the Faeries who are involved in it. Just not to forget what is absolutely clear: No sexual abuse or rape is accepted in Faerie space of course!
There can be sexual attraction or preference of some Faeries for some Faeries. Which may come with hurtful feelings of rejection by other Faeries. Faeries have the right to choose to whom they feel attracted to or with whom they want to make love. Sexual attraction or preference is for someone. Not against someone else. Even if other Faeries feel rejected or hurt. Faerie space is real life. We need to learn to live with the experience of feeling rejected when it comes to bodily love, intimacy and sex.
In the outside heteronormative, patriarchal world Faeries may be invited, pushed or Forced to have intimacy and sex with people they do not like to have it with.[] That can put a lot of pressure on Faeries and cause hurt Feelings or trauma. In Faerie Space we do not want to put oppression upon sexuality.
Faeries cannot be expected to be sexually attracted to or have intimacy and sex with every Faerie. It is no offense to say „No“. And Faeries do not need to justify for expressing or saying „No“.
Faeries have ways to connect with other Faeries from body to body. Most of the time is does not have an underline erotic or sexual meaning. Faeries like to hold each others hands and hug each other. As an expression of our Faerie love deep from the heart-except the ones who do not like to touch or be touched. Or not by everyone. Be mindful!
Some like to cuddle with one or more other Faeries. Or to lay on a mattress close with other Faeries holding and touching one another in the group („puppy-pile“). Others do not jump in. Some do it after having watched for days and finally are sure they feel safe. There is always a first time for everything. lust try it, it won’t hurt you. Unless you do not like it at all. Then better stay out of it.
Love Temple
A Love Temple is a cosy sacred place in Faerie gatherings for intimacy, love and sex. The room is usually beautifully decorated by Faeries who facilitate it. Faeries can share their bodily love in there.[] And for special love rituals which are offered by facilitators for Faeries, who want to experience and maybe extend their boundaries about intimacy. nudity and sex with other Faeries in a loving way in a safe setting. [] If you want to join a love ritual, be always aware and respectful about consent and boundaries of yourself and others. Same rules as about intimacy and sex in general: A „No“ is a „No“.
Love Temple and love rituals can be amazing, fabulous and healing. If you are into it. They can be very intense Or frightening. Or hurtful, if you feel rejected or not respected. Some Faeries do not join Love Temples or love rituals for whatever reasons. Which is OK of course. There is no pressure to jump in. And no justifying is needed for not joining.
Faerie Nudity
When you join a Faerie gathering, especially in summer, you may wonder how many Faeries are flying around naked – except the ones who do not like to do this. Faerie gatherings are naked-optional. Of course depending on environments where they are happening. ln Faerie owned sanctuaries nudity is possible. Being naked in the kitchen or sitting with naked butt on chairs is usually a no-go. In rented places there may be more rules when and where nudity is allowed. Some Faeries want to overcome their body shame. Others do not have any shame at all. Some Faeries keep clothes on for whatever reasons. Some open up during a gathering and finally feel Free to get naked. Of course there is no pressure to be naked. Anything goes. Be as you like. There may be workshops where nudity is requested (body experience, erotic massage, kundalini yoga). []